The Crash Out

I was let go from my job recently, and I’ve been dealing with what I can only describe as a much-needed crash out.

For many years, I worked for a company where I was never in the driver’s seat. I was just a passenger on a ride that I wanted to get off of for a very long time. Of course, with the job market being what it’s been, I wasn’t able to just hop off. Instead, I was stuck with the after-effects of that environment: a strained attention span and a constantly fabricated interest. Now that I’ve been let go, I’m feeling the full, unfiltered impact of liberation. It’s terrifying, but it’s also undeniably real.

To a lot of you reading this, that might sound contemptuous, especially if you employ people. I just ask that you take off your company hat for a moment. Settle into your thoughts as a human being, outside the influence of work culture and its mentality.

The New Routine and The Old Dread

On the surface, my days have started to fill up with a renewed sense of purpose. I’m finally finishing personal projects I never had time to complete. I’m architecting processes for future scenarios, building platforms to give back to my community, and working on the business strategy to obtain the customers that are so sorely needed right now. I am the client and the developer, the strategist and the technician.

But that productive energy doesn’t last the whole day. As the afternoon rolls on, the old feeling of dread can set in. It’s a shadow in the back of my mind, and I am constantly working on pushing it away, not just to focus, but to keep the panic at bay. I know from years of de-escalating complex issues that an unsettled mind makes poor decisions, and right now, my own clarity is the most important asset I have.

The Price of “Job Security”

I’ve always been a curious person, constantly jumping in and out of side projects and working with my own customers. For years, I was building my own sand castles—prototypes and personal apps—while working for a company where I was only putting in 20% of my real creative effort. I did it because I had “job security.” While that’s great for feeling “safe,” the truth is that if you constantly rely on others to open doors, you find yourself building solutions in rooms you might not want to be in. For many people, it’s even worse; it’s getting locked out entirely as whole industries topple from global instability.

That long-standing habit created a deep problem: it made me under-deliver to MYSELF. That’s an important point to make because disappointment that comes from within hits harder than any external review. Its effect compounds over time, becoming a crushing mental loop. And now, that quiet, internal disappointment has collided with a much louder, external reality.

The Real Bottom Line

How do you break that loop? The financial insecurity is more real than ever. With a household to keep going, the dread can feel like a very tangible threat with disastrous consequences.

But fear is not a strategy. Now that I’ve been released from that role, my full attention is forced onto what I’ve built for myself over the years. I feel the urgency setting in because it’s more apparent than ever that I need to make up for lost time. The moment to act was yesterday, but the second-best time is now, and I’m finally free to take it.

The Silver Lining in the Panic

There is a powerful silver lining to all of this. My career has meant that I have always been involved with companies going through tough times, lacking direction, and needing stability. I have seen, up close, what panic does to a balance sheet and how it impacts every single level of decision-making. I’ve been the one called in to calm the storm.

This thought is very sobering because it helps cement a core truth: we are all just people with a standard set of emotions, from the CEO down to the lowest-paid worker. Grounding my thoughts in this reality is critical. Success isn’t a guarantee, despite what online grifters tell us. I know this from years of observation, and more importantly, from being the person who actually built the systems they profited from.

The Unfamiliar Freedom

So, I circle back to what I said earlier: settle into your skin as a person. When faced with these uncontrollable scenarios, we all need to practice empathy, because at the core of any business, nothing happens without connections and community. We all have the same set of emotions.

Right about now, I am going to make a much-needed cup of coffee and look forward to the work week. It’s a small act, but it’s something I can control. And in some weird way, I believe things will be alright. I just haven’t had this much unstructured time in over 15 years. With all the experience I’ve accumulated, maybe my “problem” is actually my greatest opportunity.

For the first time, I don’t have to wait on someone else to tell me what to do, what to think, or what to feel. I am a skilled professional with a very large skillset. That same curiosity that had me building side projects has also seen me land in privileged situations, architecting solutions for major clients. I don’t just think those talents will activate to stabilize the road ahead. I know they will. It’s time to be my own best client.

Huh…guess writing does work….

Thanks for reading!